Slowly changing

I realized that i am slowly changing.... i am becoming more and more... emo.... sadly yes... but at the same time, i have learned to be more quiet and more discerning. and i am beginning to ponder deep into things.. i began to look at things from a different perspective. and maybe that was why i was angry at Luke. I have never been that angry with someone before... taking many things into consideration then deducing whether its worth forgiving... usually its just forgive and dont think so much... in a sense its called beginning to rationalise things.. but that is also why Jesus said its easier for children to enter the kingdom of heaven.. its because they are more pure... its hard now that i have come to this extent. but at the end, thinking i would get satisfaction, i got depression.. i was feeling so low the whole day... 3 days not talking to him totally spoiled my mood for anything. realtionships with others are important.i thought i couldn't care less cause that is how i dealt with conflicts in secondary school, but it mattered so much to me... i begin to cherish friendships.. i really am.. suprisingly...

but digging deep into things really made me more mature... i guess mum was right. another one and a half years here can really make me more mature..